Denver Westword shares a few egregiously irresponsible things to get drunk and do on St. Patrick’s Day:
Tackle short people and try to make them grant you wishes.
Urinate on every green thing you see.
Make the following joke: “Heard about the shit in Libya? Well, at least they don’t have any tsunami-triggered nuclear fallout to deal with! That’s right, I’m talking about YOU, Japan! Hay-o!”
Try to become the Foursquare mayor of the Denver city jail.
Operate a motor vehicle.
Have a manic episode and do a series of nationally televised interviews. Make sure to call your former employer a contaminated little maggot and insist that you have tiger blood. Then give yourself alcohol poisoning. Dying is for fools.
Paint yourself green — using permanent marker.
Draw questionable conclusions using unsubstantiated statistics and non-peer-reviewed studies to support them. That’s right, we’re going off the fucking hook over here.
Take your dog for a walk. Let him crap all over the place.
Wear a “Fuck me, I’m Irish” shirt to your office job
Obtain one Lucky Charms tattoo.
Buy “The Town” on Blu-ray.
Spray-paint festive shamrocks on your girlfriend’s car and then ask her to drive you to bars.
Play a game of “Edward Whiskey Hands.”
Keep drinking.
(Via Denver Westword)
While plenty of comics don’t mind offending their audiences a little, Australian stand-up Jim Jefferies would likely mind it very much if he didn’t offend people on a routine basis. The apparently punchable Jefferies is most widely known for his savage, painfully funny attacks on religion and other moral hang-ups. But no matter how well he does that, it’s a bit like repeatedly shooting an elephant in the ass. Luckily, he knows how to dig into other targets. Before his run of shows Thursday through Saturday at Comedy Works, The A.V. Club scoured the video record for other, less obvious victims of Jefferies’ raffish scorn.
By Scott Gordon October 6, 2010 (AV CLUB DENVER/BOULDER)
Blog of the World Famous Comedy Works in Denver
